How to Support Your Friends Through a Divorce or Breakup

Most of the information that I write in this blog is for you to navigate tough things like a divorce or a breakup, but this post is a little different because I wanted to take a minute to talk about what it takes to support a friend or someone you know going through the process.

I remember the kindness and thoughtfulness of my friends, and even people I just met, when I was going through this difficult time and I wanted to share some of the things that stuck with me. When someone we care about is going through a breakup or divorce, it can be difficult to know what to do or say. We might feel unsure about how to help, worried we’ll say the wrong thing, or unsure whether our friend wants space or support. But the truth is, small, consistent acts of kindness can make a lasting impact.

If you’re looking for ways to truly support a friend through a breakup or divorce, here are some thoughtful and meaningful actions that can help.

Just Listen

In the early days, your friend may need to talk things out—sometimes more than once. One of the simplest and most powerful things you can do is lend an ear without trying to fix anything. Let them cry, vent, ramble, repeat themselves. Being a steady presence can help them feel less alone and more grounded.

Tip: Avoid offering too much advice unless they ask for it. Validation and patience often matter more than solutions.

Offer Gentle Distractions That Don’t Involve “Moving On”

You don’t need to push your friend to get back out there, socialize, or “embrace their freedom” before they’re ready. Instead, suggest low-pressure activities that don’t revolve around meeting new people or pretending everything is okay.

Go for a walk. Watch a comforting TV series together. Try a new recipe. Do a jigsaw puzzle. The aim isn’t to forget, but to help them experience moments of ease and normalcy in a time that can feel chaotic.

Create a Ritual of Care

During my own separation, one of the kindest things a friend did was invite me over for dinner once a week. It gave me something to look forward to—a break from the emotional weight of home life, a warm meal, and a sense of being cared for. We picked the same day each week, and it became a comforting ritual in a time that otherwise felt full of uncertainty.

Consider: Establishing a weekly walk, shared meal, or phone call. The routine itself becomes an anchor.

Check in on Milestone Days

Divorce and breakups aren’t one-off events—they unfold over time. There are moments that feel heavier than others: court dates, anniversaries, birthdays, custody meetings, or even just weekends without their kids.

Reach out on these days. Even a simple message—“Thinking of you today. Let me know if you feel like talking or want some company”—can make all the difference.

Thoughtful Generosity Goes a Long Way

One of the most touching gestures I received was a quiet financial kindness. A close friend transferred a small sum into my account when I was stretched thin. I didn’t end up needing it, but knowing it was there gave me peace of mind. I returned the money when I could, but the gesture itself stayed with me.

You don’t need to give money, but small, thoughtful offerings—dropping off groceries, covering coffee, gifting a meal delivery—can offer more than just practical help. They remind your friend that someone sees what they’re going through and cares.

Let Them Set the Pace

Everyone processes heartbreak differently. Some people want to talk endlessly, while others go quiet. Some will want to try new things and reclaim their independence. Others may need time to grieve what was lost. Let your friend lead. Check in, be available, and keep the door open without pressure.

Final Thoughts

Supporting a friend through a divorce or breakup is about consistency, presence, and showing up in the ways that matter most. You don’t have to say the perfect thing or have all the answers. What truly helps is your willingness to stand beside them as they find their way forward.

You Might Also Like

If you found this article helpful, here are more posts that explore relationships, recovery, and moving forward:

• What to Do During Your First Month of a Breakup
  A day-by-day guide to managing heartbreak, finding calm, and beginning again.

• Moving Out During Divorce: What Helped Me Most
  Practical insights and emotional survival tips for navigating your first move.

• Dating Someone Who Just Got Divorced? Here Are Some Potential Red Flags
  What to be aware of when your new relationship starts on the heels of someone else’s ending.