From Stay-at-Home Mom to Career Gal: How I Rebuilt My Working Life

One of the biggest concerns I had after I filed for divorce was how I was going to support myself after being absent from the workforce for over a decade. Granted, I did work A LOT in my ex’s business but (regrettably) I never fully established a professional life separate from him. I went from 21-year-old, fresh-faced college grad and made the choice to move in with, work alongside him, and marry him just after my 22nd birthday. It seemed like the right decision at the time but left me woefully vulnerable.

Fourteen years later I found myself starting over again. It’s true, I had a wealth of life experience, even work experience, but not documented in a ‘legitimate’ way that most employers would understand. During the divorce, while living on government assistance and making it by with nominal marital funds (most of which were tied up in legal proceedings), I knew I’d have to figure out how to make myself self-sufficient by the time our family court situation was settled.

Worrying if I could make it in the real world

One of the toughest parts about being isolated as a stay-at-home mother and having the strange family work-life that I did was that I didn’t have a lot of interaction with other professionals other than my ex and the clients he brought in. I was there to do support work but never had the chance to build my confidence or find mentors that wanted to see me grow.

Imposter-syndrome and questioning whether my experience counted kept me up at night. I wondered if I had really wasted all those years dedicated to the family business with nothing to show for it. It was one of the worst and most embarrassing feelings to emerge from this whole process for me. My foolishness had meant I was starting over from scratch at 36. My career life had essentially be paused at 22 and I was expected now to find a way to make it up – and quickly.

Taking one step at a time

Full disclosure, there was nothing quick about the process of building a career for myself. Instead, it was a series of steps that eventually led to the career I’m in now. I had no idea at the time what the end result would be, but like many of you who are in this situation now, the priority was having real (read: any) income coming in.

Figuring out what I was good at

The first step in this whole process was getting honest about what I was actually qualified to do. Not only that, I also had to think about being parent to a toddler at the time. I recognized that whatever I did, it needed to allow me the time to take care of my daughter. Going into real estate or finance (which I had previously been licensed for) were not great options for someone juggling the responsibilities of motherhood. I had to think differently about my skillset.

Deciding on freelance writing

Part of my responsibilities in the family business were drafting sales documents and getting to know different types of businesses across industries. Writing had always come naturally, and not just any writing, but the type of writing where you had to explain more complex ideas and translate them into something simpler. I decided to explore freelance writing for businesses that might need help with website copy.

This was in the days before AI, but content mills were everywhere and I knew that quality writing that connected to people would stand out. I didn’t overthink my lack of formal experience or worry about how I compared to others. I just started.

Getting my first jobs

I searched online for the best freelance platforms and at the time I decided to try my luck on Upwork. I understand that today it’s a very different platform from when I started but I still think the principles I used can provide some help if you’re looking for a place to start.

I did a lot of homework on how to apply to jobs. The generous freelance writing community had a lot of share on blogs and YouTube about how to get started. I also just started trying to apply to anything and everything that I thought I could feasibly do. This was a big lesson for me, as I’m always someone who likes to plan ahead before moving forward – sometimes you need get in there and try things than wait until you have the perfect plan.

I got a lot of experience in drafting proposals, learning which ones people responded to, and figuring out how to make my profile and portfolio better.

I was upfront to potential clients that this would be my first project on the platform but I had done extensive work writing for other businesses. I priced my first job very low so that I could get that all-important 5-star rating for my first piece of work and eventually I was able to make it happen. I wrote a short email series that the client was happy with, and I was on my way.

All of the preparation and work to get that single job was ultimately far more hours than I was actually paid for, but I was getting so much experience in how to sell myself and respond quickly to communications.

Gaining momentum and building relationships

Each piece of work that I created for different clients became proof that I could deliver – not only to other prospects but also to myself. Slowly, I built a portfolio that showed range and reliability. More importantly, I gained confidence. That confidence made it easier to pitch better opportunities and connect with clients who valued my work.

Over time, those small projects turned into consistent freelance work. I developed relationships with clients who came back again and again. I finally felt like I could call myself a freelance writer and I was acquiring useful skills. I was in the process of building that career that I never had the chance to before.

Upskilling and investing in myself

After a couple of years, and once my divorce was final, I made a decision to mark this new era of my life by investing in myself more formally. I enrolled in a master’s program to strengthen my skills and add credibility to my work. During my time doing freelance work thus far, I discovered that when people said they needed writing they actually meant they needed marketing messaging. I ended up signing up to study marketing at my local university.

This path won’t be right for everyone. What matters is finding ways to build your confidence and capability, whether that’s through study, short courses, or hands-on experience.

Making the most of opportunities

Balancing study and freelance work wasn’t easy, but getting the chance to grow my skills and learn from other students and professors was invaluable. I started to understand the marketing frameworks and could immediately apply what I was learning, which made both my academic work and client projects stronger. Just as valuable were the connections I made. Being surrounded by other students created a sense of camaraderie that I hadn’t realized I was missing. It reminded me that I wasn’t doing this alone.

Graduating to a new role

Upon graduation, and with a daughter ready to start school full-time, I felt like it was the right moment to find more traditional employment. Because of all the work I had put in since my divorce, I wasn’t starting from scratch. I had a body of work, real client relationships, and recent education behind me. I reached out to clients and professors for references—people who had seen my growth and could speak to my work ethic and ability.

The job search was an entirely different journey in itself. I systematically applied to marketing jobs that became available and made sure to optimize my cover letter and resumes. I used the same technique of applying to jobs and learning what worked best (like I did during my earliest freelance days) to get past the initial stages of hiring.

Once again I researched the best resume templates, watched TikToks on how to prepare for interviews and after several months I accepted a job at the marketing department of a large organization. I was now officially (by job title) a copywriter.

Going after the career you want

Transitioning from stay-at-home mom to career woman isn’t a single leap. It’s a series of small, deliberate steps. You don’t need to have everything figured out from the beginning. You just need to start somewhere, stay open to learning, and keep building from what you create.