Divorce is one of those life events that often feels wrapped in fear, uncertainty, and doubt. It’s a word that holds weight, carrying with it the whispers of societal judgment, the fear of the unknown, and the pain of breaking apart something you once believed would last forever.

Were you ‘married single mother’ in your relationship?

If you aren’t yet familiar with the term, it refers to women who have a marriage/relationship dynamic where they have an unequal load of the child-rearing, housework, and sometimes financial burden.

I always need to start these informational blog posts with a reminder that this is in no way intended to be used as legal advice. I like to bring up topics you might find helpful and might not have thought to review, but this is by no means a comprehensive study of the topic

Let’s start with the end.

I’m at a resort, working remotely at a job I love, feeling as much purpose as I have yet to-date in my life. I have meaningful friendships, make decisions for myself, and co-parent two well-adjusted children.

I had no idea that I’d ever be here.

I had about a month and a half where I knew and had to hold it together. The experience for me was one of the most uncomfortable of this entire experience that I felt it was important to bring up here in this blog if only just as a small feature.

This past weekend I caught up with my divorce lawyer/friend who I hadn’t seen in a year. We had a long, leisurely dinner and she had a chance to see my children who had grown up so much since she first took on my case.

In an ideal world, you’ll already be completely on top of your finances and know the whole money picture before this whole process even occurs.

I call this the pre- divorce planning process because this was the time from when I had made up my mind to divorce, and when I told my partner.